It's been about a week since I created this account, I suppose it's about time I wrote my first formal lj post. Yeah, I am not exactly the spontaneous type. So here goes!
The Who is no doubt one of the best rock 'n' roll bands of all time and they have mosdef done plenty of great songs. But it should be obvious from the title of this journal that the song Behind Blue Eyes holds special significance to me.
As much as I love the song, there are some verses with which I don't relate. Allow me to explain.
No one knows what it's like,
To be the sad man,
To be the bad man,
Behind blue eyes.
I'm totally cool with the chorus.
As an INFP, the first line in particular really hits home. There is plenty on the web about the MBTI, and many books have been written on the subject, so I won't even start to explain it here.
In MBTI terms, INFPs and ESTJs are opposites. While it's estimated that ESTJs comprise about 10-15% of the general population, INFPs are present in only about 1%. Thus, for every INFP there are about 99 non-INFPs and 10-15 ESTJs.
So naturally I often feel that "no one knows what it's like" to be me.
And despite what you see in my userpics, technically I'm a man. And FYI I do like girls - if anything maybe a little too much. It's just that sometimes I like to pretend I am one. Get over it; I have (but will admit that it took awhile).
Moreover, psychologically speaking I am certainly not a typical man. I abhor sports, and cry a lot - especially since I quit smoking and that miserable failure bush got re-elected (!!!). But the tears are not so much tears of sorrow as they are tears due to being totally frustrated with the self-centered, shallow, insensitive, closed-minded idiots that seem to dominate our world.
[If you are not a fan of Star Trek, skip to the next paragraph.] In a nutshell, I feel like a Bajoran on a planet full of Klingons and Ferengi. (Trekkies now all nod in unison: "ahh, now I understand, that explains it!")
Most importantly, I do have blue eyes, and if cross-dressing is "bad," then I am a very, very, very bad boy, err, man.
No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies
This verse isn't really me. I doubt I am hated so much as misunderstood. Yeah well I don't understand most people either, so I guess we're even. But hated? I certainly hope not!
And I suppose you could call the skirts and dresses "lies," but if you knew how my brain works you'd know they really aren't. At worst they're a lie that tells the truth.
The fake boobs I like to wear are definitely deceptive but FYI I wear them mostly for drama avoidance, because I am very sensitive, and "no one knows what it's like...." So staying under the radar in general and passing when dressed up in particular is very important to me.
All things considered I feel I am much more honest than most people. Unfortunately, these days that's not saying much.
But my dreams, they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance, that's never free
This is another verse that doesn't fit me at all. Sure, I spend plenty of time alone, but that's how we Introverts (the "I" in "INFP") recharge, so I am not by any means lonely.
Sometimes I feel like extraverted (aka. "normal") people hate, err, misunderstand introverts, because we don't need them the way they need other people. It's clear that Pete Townshend has tapped into this psychological dichotomy.
No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you
I don't blame any one for not knowing how I feel, it's just the way it is. If anything, I'd definitely much rather be an interesting, enigmatic, misunderstood person than some dumb jock or cop, or an over-confident businessman or politician, or an obnoxious salesman or ... any of those billions of other boring normal people!
And it's not your fault or my fault, it's just the way things are.
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through
Now this I can relate to. It's songs like this (and Misunderstood) that make me think Pete Townshend is not just an Introvert but also an iNtuitive (the "N" in INFP). It would be nice to know for sure!
When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool
And if I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
And if I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat
We were going along fairly well, but I can not relate to this part of the song at all.
Now if it's cold and you have a spare blanket or coat, sharing it would be fine. But if you have just the one, even if I'm in girl mode, I'm tellin' you I am not really a girl and I do not like to be patronized.
And if I smile, the thing to do is smile back, not "tell me some bad news."
Of course, putting a finger down anyone's throat is just plain gross!
I may be weird, but in general you should heed this warning: don't be messin' with me! I may seem nice but I'm a gun owner so don't push it!!
If you've heard the music - and who hasn't - you know that most of the song - specifically, all of it except this part - is rather mellow and melancholy, while this part is more up-beat and rockin'. Pete probably put it in there to satisfy the masses, and without this part the song might not be such a great hit.
As much as I love how The Who rocks, however, I relate to the other verses much better.
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
So I was creating this account and it asked for a name for the journal, and this song popped in my head. That's probably because while scrolling through the themes this blue one literally jumped out at me.
Like the theme, I couldn't ignore the song, and so I had to go with it. By now, all you lovely readers out there should know why.
Thanks for reading! | 
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